A week in.

It's been a tough one.  Very tough and very emotional.  There have been tears (M's and mine), lots of cuddles and talking and a bit of shouting.

Although M had anticipated that school would be hard to start with, neither of us really appreciated just how hard she would find it.  The first day was, of course, a massive culture shock.  She knew nobody in her year and only a couple of older acquaintances from gymnastics in any other years.  In addition she started a few weeks after everyone else, so they are just about at the point where they know what they're doing and where they're going.  The final straw was that we had arranged to meet in reception after school, just for the first day, and she didn't turn up.  She had been swept out of school with everyone else and not allowed back in by the builders who control the path through the demolition site of the old school buildings.  There was absolutely no mobile phone coverage, so she hadn't managed to contact me and vice versa.  After 10 minutes or so of waiting, with various teachers looking around the school for her, one of the teachers and I went to look outside, where I found her waiting by the car.  She had managed to hold it together until that point...just.

Since then M has not wanted to go to school.  She accepts that she needs to give it longer and that it's very early days and that there's a lot to get used to, but she doesn't want to go.  I don't think the work has been a problem, although in most of the lessons they seem to be part way through various projects.  The one subject for which she'd been put into the top set and was completely out of her depth that was an issue was maths, but she's now been moved and her form tutor is now her teacher, so I'm hopeful that will improve.  There are some subjects that she quite likes, PE and technology in particular.  Some of her first impressions were that 'everybody swears and people have drawn penises on the chairs'.  Although she's been very clear that she does not like school, every day so far there has been something that has been either 'okay' or she has liked. 

As far as friendships are concerned, M is very mature and realises that they take time.  She has said that there are people who are friendly, but that she doesn't know if they are being nice because she's new or if they really like her, so we've talked about those people being potential friends.

Her form tutor has been excellent.  He has been very responsive to emails and phoned yesterday for a chat, although since I was just on my way to pick her up (Wednesday is the only day I can't pick her up at the end of school, so she stayed to do homework in the library, which is an option until 4pm) I met him rather than talking on the phone.  He has been very supportive and helpful sorting out a couple of issues that we've brought up and he is clearly very on the ball, putting extra support in place very quickly when he has noticed it was needed.

We are all aware that it's still very early days but given how hard M is finding it, rather than keeping to what we originally said, that it would be for a year (although with the caveat that we would of course take her out if she was very unhappy), we have said we'll take it a term at a time.  Knowing that if things are no better (and I do think that they are improving slowly) by Christmas she won't necessarily have to go back has helped M somewhat.

It's parents' evening on Monday, which will be interesting.  I'm aware that the teachers won't have much to say, given that it will only have been school days, so some may only have seen her once or twice, but I see it as a good way to get to know the school better and see if there's anything we can do at home to support M.  It will also be my first parents' evening as a parent; I've been to them as a pupil and a teacher, so this will complete the set!

And in other news, it's K's birthday today.  She's turned 13, which is pronounced 'tenty-three' because she does not want to be a teenager.  She got up at 6.50am, so that she could open at least some of her presents with the whole family there before A had to leave to at 7.05am to catch a train.