School appeal update - the result.

We hoped that the letter would arrive before the weekend and have been hanging on the arrival of the post for the past couple of days.  Today it arrived and it did not bring the answer that we'd hoped for.  While I admit that I had mixed feelings about the idea of M going to school, I knew it was the right thing for her.  Sadly she is not going to get the experience that she so wanted to have.

"The panel considered all the points that you made and were equally mindful of the case for prejudice to the the efficient working and use of resources against the school.  The panel weighed all the evidence heard and on balance concluded that the case for the child did not outweigh the case for prejudice against the school and The XX School was not uniquely placed to address M's needs.  I have to advise therefore that your appeal was rejected unanimously."

M was absolutely devastated at the news. She put so much emotional time and effort into really thinking this decision through, whether to go to school or not.  It really was not an easy decision for her and understandably it feels very much like a personal rejection.  It feels as though her chance to experience school has been taken away from her.  She has seen all the time and effort that we've put into this appeal and does at least know that we really did do our very best to try to make it happen for her.

We're going to take a bit of time for now, but will then need to talk things through with M to decide what's next.

Options to consider include:

• applying for one of the other three local schools, but our chances of being offered a place are at best no better than this time (two being faith schools, the other not our catchment school and all three already oversubscribed), so would involve going through the stress that we've had for the past few months with almost certainly the same result.  I think it's fair to say that we've already pretty much ruled this one out.

• taking the offer of a place (although it would mean reapplying, as we've already turned it down) at a school outside the area, probably the one where M was offered a place.

• continue with home education at least for now, which would mean M accepting that she will probably never have the experience of school and knowing for herself what it is really like. 

At the moment, we'll probably be going for the last option, but we need some time and headspace to properly think things through.  Something that I am wondering about and that we'll look into, to find out if it's an option at all, is going to stay with a friend for a week or maybe even two and going to school with them.  A cousin of mine did this for a few weeks when moving to England from Germany with his dad, my uncle, when he lived with us for a while and went to school with my brother.  I don't know whether it's even a possibility nowadays though.  The positive would be that she would see what school was like, even if it wasn't the same as actually attending one, on the downside if she decided it was something that would suit her (having possibly had a not completely authentic experience to base the decision on), it would make this result even harder to come to terms with.

To end on a positive note, at least we'll still be able to go on holiday in term time for now at least!