Something by me!

A while back, when were immersed in our Roald Dahl phase, before I started blogging, I spontaneously came up with a limerick, I think it was for The Twits.  Following this K & M begged and begged for more and more until I had done one for most of the books we'd read.

After a trip down to the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre I wrote to them to share them as I thought they might like them.  Soon after I heard back from them and as well as thanking me they asked if they could put them up on the wall of Miss Honey's Classroom, which of course I said was fine, so if you ever go there have a look and see if they're still there.  Here they are:

Roald Dahl was a wonderful writer

His hero Matilda was brighter

Than all of the crooks

You will find in his books

‘Gainst Miss Trunchbull she was a great fighter

There’s also George Cranky of course

Who gave to his Grandma and horse

To sheep and to hen

His great medicine and then

They all grew with remarkable force

Don’t forget good BFG

Who was gentle and kind as can be

Though he lived in a cave

He and Sophie were brave

And defeated bad giants – whoopee!

The Pelican, Monkey, Giraffe

Cleaned windows so well, not by half

They left them so clean

For the Duke (not the Queen)

And a burglar they caught – what a laugh!

Those three nasty farmers to trick

Fantastic Fox had to be quick

He dug underground

What a feast that he found

From Boggis, Bunce, Bean, who were thick.

James Trotter was terribly sad

His aunt Sponge and aunt Spiker were bad

So he sailed out of reach

With huge bugs in a peach

What a wonderful journey they had

The Twits were a horrible pair

Mean, ugly and covered in hair

They didn’t care tuppence

But got their comeuppance

Heads glued down their feet in the air

There was a young man, a new vicar

Whose speech really could have been slicker

With his words wrong way round

So that ‘God’ was a hound

That unfortunate Nibbleswick vicar

In a caravan Danny and dad

Live together, they’re poor but not sad

One dark night in the wood

Poached all pheasants they could

Got one over on Hazel, he’s mad!

Roald Dahl also wrote rhyme

At fairy tales he was sublime

Though he still kept the gist

He would give things a twist

Hilarious results every time

Young Charlie was hungry and thin
But then a gold ticket did win
Our hero was needy
The other kids greedy
The overall winner was him

So Charlie was now now Wonka's heir
'Bout chocolate so much to learn there
Then a lift into space
Vermicious knids there to face
He and Wonka, they made quite a pair

A girl who had magical powers
Had neighbours who hunted for hours
Into ducks they were turned
Until hunting they spurned
Then they dug graves and planted some flowers

In Boy we learn of Roald's life
Of holiday fun and school strife
Cruel teachers at school
But the chocolate was cool!
But we don't get as far as his wife

The Witches all evil and vice
Planned to turn all the kids into mice
Their plan it was spoiled
By a boy-slash-mouse foiled
Who turned them into mice in a trice

Now our Dahl-ian obsession has faded, it occurred to me that I could challenge myself to do something similar with our current author of the moment, Shakespeare.  Of course limericks would be entirely inappropriate, so here are my first two attempts and summing up plots in sonnet form.

Twelfth Night

 By tempest boy/girl twins in strange land wrecked

 Sebastien, to Viola, he seemed drowned
 For local Duke she worked as boy bedecked
 And gave up hope her brother would be found
 Now Duke Orsino loved Olivia fair
 Used 'boy' Cesario to push his suit
 Olivia for 'boy', not Duke, did care
 But 'boy' was girl and girl loved Duke - a hoot!
 And more, the kill-joy Steward loved in vain
 Sir Toby, Andy and the maid were sly
 They tricked Malvolio, had him deemed insane
 And locked away in prison by and by
 But all ends well as twins once more join hands
 And both find love and end with wedding bands.

Much Ado About Nothing

Beatrice and Hero, cousins, both are fair
With war Don Pedro and his men are done
One Claudio for Hero he does care
By Pedro now for him the girl is won
But Benedick and Bea have tongues that cut
To friends together they seem to belong
With tricks united, they go well – ah but
For other lovers evil John plots wrong
Fair Hero, she is seen to be untrue
By Claudio in public she is spurned
But thinking Hero dead the man is blue
When of her pure-white innocence he learned
But fortunately all turns out quite well
And twice we hear the chimes of wedding bell

Rather predictably I've been getting requests for more from K & M, so watch this space!